Category: Biographicals

“If I were to invent my biography, in my own words, I would begin it by suggesting I escaped the womb with haste as the person I was renting that space from was clinically insane. I would clarify this latter piece of information by explaining that I do not mean bat-shit crazy sort of insane. I mean more like quiet and menacing insanity of the sort that one feels tainted by breathing in the same air as it. This was my mother, and the beginning of my time in this plane. My only true regret is that I was not born with the ability to walk, so I could hit the pavement running. Perhaps this is harsh, but I would have every desire with this invented biography to allow the reader to know just how bizarre my childhood was, from the absolute beginning and how this has always influenced me as I’ve grown.” – Etta Diem Getting a factual biography out of the enigmatic Miss Etta Diem is near impossible. The only facts that are […]

Babel-Jean Tea Hymn was born in 1912, just a few days after the new year and the birth of the Republic of China. She was the second delivery in a series of two, her mother, Josephine Tea, having given birth to two underweight but healthy fraternal twins. She named the little boy Jonathon Paul Tea Hymn, and the little girl Geraldine Marie Tea Hymn. Their father was never identified, though Josephine always claimed his last name was Hymn and added it to her own last name for her children. As the story goes, the twins began their attempts at speaking at a very young age. Josephine claimed her two children seemed to babel at one another in a language only the two of them could understand. This prompted their mother to adopt nicknames for them. Babel-John for the boy, and Babel-Jean for the girl. Babel-Jean always embraced this name over her birth name. Babel-Jean and her brother lived a very hard life with their single mother. Originally Josephine lived in a sparse fishing community on […]

Professor Mint T. Zloty is a highly valued member of the Archives and of the University, whether living or dead, and we have no desire whatsoever to ever lose his presence in our fine establishment. However, were he to say, step into the light, or the darkness, or whatever force might be calling him away from us, we would bear him no grudge whatsoever, and though it might be hard for us, we would find some way to muddle through it. This, especially because on the other side of the light would be many wondrous things, all the iced cream he could eat, another world, anxiously awaiting a great and forgiving man such as himself – which would certainly be something much much better than haunting the corridors of our university or hanging around his dusty laboratory. In fact, should he, in his great wisdom, come to the realization that he is in fact dead, we would probably be compelled to build a wing on the archives in his name, erect a statue, and perhaps even fund a moving picture about […]

Aden Kemy is a Professor in the Department of Applied Ancient Metaphysics, and a Research Professor  in the Department of Ancient and Probably Dangerious Mysterious Mechinations. Prior to joining Miskatonic, for over 10 years he ran the Graduate Program in Blame Assignment at Paradigm Corporate Synergy University, Death Valley NM,  From 1820-1870.  He was also an Honorary Research Fellow at the Institute of Dark and Spooky Things, Birmingham, U.K. His research and teaching activities have focused on issues of Better Living through Dark Wizardry, and Mishandled Artifact Disaster Management. His research themes include impending doom and eldritch sigil risk factors for workers.  His hobbies include tinkering with and disassembly of unknown objects, breaking strange seals, and reading cryptic passages from mysterious tomes in order to better see if anything happens. Prof. Aden M. Kemywww.mykeamend.com

Dunwich Horror am born to humans in Dunwich through special ceremony, and educated in the small house of Dunwich shack, in the neighborhood of Dunwich poophouse and Dunwich tool shed. Dunwich Horror spend some time back in otherworldly dimension due to malicious smelly old man banish dunwich horror from planet of earth. After return to earth, Dunwich horror want only be left alone to chomp and crunch and smush invisibly, and urges concerned humans of earth to protect horror from evil staff at Miskatonic Archive. Dunwich Horror likes in free time smushing and crunching, but also like collect conifers and possums for use in decopage. Dunwich Horroren.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oprah_Winfrey