In the late 1900’s at the height of the Spiritualist movement, Huxley Auspex took his place among the movement’s elite by creating and ushering into the world the Auspicmoriscope. The fantastic claims of this invention were simple: the user looked into the eyepiece and turned the handle and the spirit realm became visible within the instrument’s view finder. The instrument caused a stir among even the most hardened in the community and Auspex became a quick celebrity, embraced by the likes of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. He followed this rise to celebrity by creating a variety of variations on his original device, each offering claims more brilliant and fabled than the next. The final version of the auspicmoriscope was a heavy contraption that came complete with a strange scrying board and typewriter like letter box that was meant to allow the user to type in messages or relay the names of those they wished to contact. Auspex claimed the additions to the device allowed for better locating and displaying of those the viewer desired to […]
Category: Articles
Adventure Mission Generator*
Today I added this mission generator in order to make my days a bit more interesting. It is still in its beta stage, but it is somewhat unlikely that it will cause any sort of dismemberment or death, unless used improperly. Feel free to try it out. Adventure Mission Generator copyright © 2008 Myke Amend Prof. Aden M. Kemywww.mykeamend.com
Dunwich Horror isn’t smell
“He locked away the Necronomicon with a shudder of disgust, but the room still reeked with an unholy and unidentifiable stench. ‘As a foulness shall ye know them,’ he quoted. Yes – the odour was the same as that which had sickened him at the Whateley farmhouse less than three years before” First off imagine be sprayed with yellow mustard from giant bottle, being treeted like giant cosmic weiner, then to be called ‘ugly’ or ‘hideous’ by wrinkly old humans I not even know personally, waving their arms about at self all threatening like, screaming at Dunwich Horror when Dunwich Horror not doing anything bad – just happily crusching trees all like “Crunch! Crunch!” minding own business… maybe eat a few humans but it’s okay really. Then imagine be dissolved from world by meddlesome old people what won’t lend ancient books out and then think you are stinky, and what think brother are stinky which is LIE! Well, It took long time be conjured back here just to defend myself from terrible old wrinkly man’s malicous comments […]
Hexed
Last night I entered the Miskatonic Archives, and through slight of hand and nimble footing I made it into the professor’s office and lab. I found no sign of the Necronomicon, nor could I find any of those books that were acquired by the University through the Dunwich incident. I did however manage to pilfer an impression of Professor Kemy’s scribblings from from a desktop notepad, though nothing as of yet makes much sense at all… But none of what I found has much to do with my current situation, which I will relay to you now, in case these moments are to be my very last… Though I had been quite sly and meticulously nimble in my excursion, I neglected to return with my bag… a bag containing a change of clothing, so that I could arrive at the Women’s Cello Society recital well-dressed and in good time for some celebratory drinking. When I realized this, I was halfway between the University and my intended destination – and, my apartment on Rue d’Auseil being closer, I decided to grab a change of […]
A terrible ruse
Today, I came across a rather strange assortment of artifacts, piled loosely in a duffel bag in the corner of my office. The duffel bag bore no distinguishing marks other than a sticker reading “Abney Park”, what I believe to be a stamp from a possible stop along the way from its unknown origin. Having worked tirelessly throughout the day to ascertain their origin, I found about midway through spectographics and other means, that these items were by no means ancient, or even old. However, knowing that there exist modern-times dabblers and adepts in the metaphysical arts and aether-scientific spheres, I decided it would be a good idea to inspect these items more closely. The first of these items – what seemed to be a pair of flight goggles, with a crudely fashioned set of secondary lenses bound by brass arms, which for some reason did not seem to bend or swing in ways that would be expected for functionality, or even bend at all. In trying to manipulate the lenses, I eventually broke one of these […]
Rumours of my death are greatly exaggerated
This memo is in protest to the memo previously left by Ms. Babel-Jean Teahymn, and for the purpose of disputing my status as a former employee, ex-employee, demised employee, or employee who has otherwise ceased to be. This letter is being transcribed by intern Tom Lazythint, as for some reason or another I have become temporarily incompatible with objects on the material plane of existence – a mere phase which I am sure will pass in time, and something I am sure must happen to most people my age at some point or another. Regardless, this statement is a disclaimer against possible typos and other displays of intern daftness which might occur within this transcription. I would like to say that in fact, I feel quite fine, and very well up to my duties regardless of my current state, and declare that I will fight tooth and nail with anyone who even as much as attempts to park their autocar in my assigned parking spot, parks their grimy feet on my fine brazilian cherrywood desk, […]
Safety Guidelines
Attention Archive Staff: It has been brought to my attention that someone has purchased a sinusoidal bath as part of the replacement equipment for the baths in the gymnasium that were destroyed by that localized storm. May I remind all staff that all equipment brought into the facility must follow proper installation protocol and be maintained or observed as needed for the safety and well-being of all Archive staff. The electrified remains of elder archive staff member Mint T. Zloty were found in the sinusoidal bath still smoking early this evening. Consequently, Professor Zloty is said to be in the south wing reading presently. As an added sidenote – please keep in mind that smoking is strictly prohibited anyplace other than the smokers’ lounge, the walk-in humidore, the library, or your own personal laboratory. If someone would be so kind – please seek out Mint and please inform him that he is dead and we will not be expecting him to show up for work in the morning. Thank you. Sincerely, Babel-Jean Tea Hymn Babel-Jean Teahymnwww.bajema.com
Mi-Go, You Go
Attention Archive Staff: It has been brought to my attention that someone has allowed a Mi-go into the Archives. I would just like to take this opportunity to once again refer staff members to our rules and guidelines about the calling forth and summoning of any creature that can be considered a hostile threat to the overall well being of the Archive, its staff and interns. Our guidelines strictly state that experiments or conjuring of any kind not addressed to and sanctioned by the elder Archive Staff are only permitted within your own dorm or lodgings, where you will take full responsibility for whatever doom you bring upon yourself. At the time of this writing the Mi-go was last seen in the north wing preparing to operate on an intern. It is a crustacean-like entity that can be identified by any manner of unique traits such as multiple appendages and antennae where its head should be. And if these things are not a good visual indicator, someone was good enough to fix it with a […]