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Rumours of my death are greatly exaggerated

This memo is in protest to the memo previously left by Ms. Babel-Jean Teahymn, and for the purpose of disputing my status as a former employee, ex-employee, demised employee, or employee who has otherwise ceased to be. This letter is being transcribed by intern Tom Lazythint, as for some reason or another I have become temporarily incompatible with objects on the material plane of existence – a mere phase which I am sure will pass in time, and something I am sure must happen to most people my age at some point or another. Regardless, this statement is a disclaimer against possible typos and other displays of intern daftness which might occur within this transcription. I would like to say that in fact, I feel quite fine, and very well up to my duties regardless of my current state, and declare that I will fight tooth and nail with anyone who even as much as attempts to park their autocar in my assigned parking spot, parks their grimy feet on my fine brazilian cherrywood desk, […]

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Mi-Go, You Go

Attention Archive Staff: It has been brought to my attention that someone has allowed a Mi-go into the Archives. I would just like to take this opportunity to once again refer staff members to our rules and guidelines about the calling forth and summoning of any creature that can be considered a hostile threat to the overall well being of the Archive, its staff and interns. Our guidelines strictly state that experiments or conjuring of any kind not addressed to and sanctioned by the elder Archive Staff are only permitted within your own dorm or lodgings, where you will take full responsibility for whatever doom you bring upon yourself. At the time of this writing the Mi-go was last seen in the north wing preparing to operate on an intern. It is a crustacean-like entity that can be identified by any manner of unique traits such as multiple appendages and antennae where its head should be. And if these things are not a good visual indicator, someone was good enough to fix it with a […]